Why Can't I?
by Chloe Grey
Summary: Snowflakes caught Cho’s hair as she walked around the lake. Next to her, Harry sighed – it was strange, how she could remember exactly how it sounded, like they’d known each other for years. It felt like they had. HarryCho songfic


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and I don't own the song. Not publicly anyway, but thats between Jo and Liz and me. ;)

Why Can't I?

**_Get a load of me, get a load of you  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you  
It's just like we were meant to be_**

Snowflakes caught Cho's hair as she walked around the lake. Next to her, Harry sighed – it was strange, how she could remember exactly how it sounded, like they'd known each other for years. It felt like they had.

_**Holding hands with you, and we're out at night  
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right  
And I've got someone waiting too**_

Harry took her hand as a gesture of friendship; Cho fancied herself it meant something more.

"How's Ginny?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

Harry cringed. "She's Ginny. I love her and all," he said, and Cho looked away, ignoring her heartbeat, "but she's Ron's sister. And… well, I have things to do. Things I don't want her to get involved with."

At least he cared about _her_.

"Rodger asked me to Hogsmeade," Cho retorted, looking back at Harry; now it was his turn to look away.

"That's nice," he muttered.

_**Is, this is just the beginning  
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming**_

Harry was looking down at the snow, blushing. Probably from the cold. Preferably from Cho.

It reminded her of the first time she actually _saw_ him – after a Defense lesson. Maybe this was the same. The snow was cotton-like, landing on Cho's sweater. She shivered from the cold.

"Want to go swimming?" Harry asked suddenly. His head whipped up, his eyes excited.

Cho laughed, "You can't be serious."

"I wasn't… Really."

_**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it**_

Cho smiled and shook her head – leave it to a man to bring up swimming while it was _snowing_. Leave it to Harry.

Approaching the subject, Cho's breath caught, as usual. She wondered if he'd suggested it just to say something – maybe he wanted to hear her voice. The thought made her blush. She couldn't take this anymore, this silence. Acting like nothing had happened between them. Of course, conversations concerning Harry and herself as a couple usually ended in fights. Fights and memories and tears.

But she needed to talk about it; Cho was tired of holding things in.

"Harry –," she said, and stopped. Cho couldn't think of anything to say – or, moreover, she couldn't think of anything that would sound _right._ She never could with him.

"Yes?" Harry asked. He was looking down at her curiously, almost as if he knew what was coming.

_**So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?**_

She looked back up at him as they walked, almost completing a full circle around the lake.

_Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? _She felt like asking. But Cho knew that wasn't the right thing. Problem was, she still couldn't figure out what was.

_**Isn't this the best part of breakin' up?  
Finding someone else you can't get enough of  
Someone who wants to be with you too**_

Harry, who seemed to sense that Cho couldn't find the right words, squeezed her hand and said, "This is the best part, right? Finding someone else – someone who you want to be with."

_Maybe I want to be with you._

Cho nodded. She knew she had to say something now.

_**It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch  
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch  
But wouldn't it be beautiful?**_

"I have to say it sometime," Cho said aloud.

Harry looked confused. "Say?"

It was going to take a while to get this out.

"Wouldn't it be great if…"

_**Here we are, we're at the beginning  
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning**_

Cho tried to explain it, remembering how it was that day after Defense Against the Dark Arts. Wondering what would have happened, had Marietta not forced her to sit with Cedric during Transfiguration the day before… What if she'd sat with Harry? What if she hadn't spent hours on end watching Cedric during dinner? What if she'd been watching Harry? What if she'd made the wrong choice, choosing Cedric?

Cho saw Harry, a fourth year, saying something she remembered sounding like 'wagobomb'. She smiled at the memory. And then frowned, remembering the rest.

_I've already said I'd go with someone else._ Harry's face had turned from red to white (to red again). Cho remembered her own, remembered how her cheeks had seemed to be getting hotter every moment.

_**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?**_

And then suddenly she couldn't breath anymore. She couldn't talk anymore.

"You had to say it sometime," Harry agreed, his voice low.

Cho looked over at him, embarrassed that there were tears in her eyes.

_**I'd love for you to make me wonder  
Where it's goin'  
I'd love for you to pull me under  
Somethin's growin'**_

She'd love for Harry to wipe the tears out of her eyes. She'd love for him to confuse her. She'd love for him to do _anything_.

Not just stand there, indifferent. Okay, indifferent was a bit of a stretch. He more looked at the loss of words.

Well, Cho realized, words weren't what she needed. Words _weren't _the right thing.

She wanted to get lost in Harry. Cho wanted him to kiss her senseless, everyday for the rest of her life.

_**For this that we can control  
Baby I am dyin'**_

But he wouldn't. Because he was Harry, and he was nice, and loyal, and sweet, and reliable, and selfless, and caring, and lovely, and it was killing her.

_**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you**_

Cho was surprised she hadn't turned blue. Her throat felt like it was closing up. Her heart felt like it was trying to clog it.

She couldn't say anything. Neither, apparently, could he. But there were so many things to be said, and so little things that could be.

For now, she'd have to start at the beginning:

"Harry, why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?"

**

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Love? Hate? Hmm...  
Review!**


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